The Language of Grief that Became the Mission: My Promise to Danielle
They say Grief is like a river……and I find my self drowning in it.
Grief speaks a language no one wants to learn….but once it enters your life, it becomes your native tongue.
Losing Danielle shattered my world.
That kind of grief isn’t quiet.
It’s loud.
It screams in the silence.
It echoes through your bones.
It makes you question everything…humanity, justice, the system… and honestly, even God.
Nothing about my days feels normal anymore. And although we all know anything can happen at any moment, we still live like tomorrow is promised.
I did too.
Until it wasn’t.
Now, even the simple act of getting out of bed feels heavy. The world feels darker, crueler and the evil I’ve witnessed has pierced my heart so deeply that I sometimes wonder how to keep going.
Danielle didn’t just pass, she was taken.
Slowly.
Torturously.
And if you know me… if you knew Danielle… then you already understand why I can’t stop.
You know why “justice” is not just a word to me, it’s a promise.
A promise I made to my daughter, to myself, and to God.
Since October 6, 2021 for 3 years, 8 months, and 15 days, 1,354 days, I’ve carried a pain that never leaves. It doesn’t fade. It doesn’t soften.
I’ve tried to breathe through it. I’ve tried to sleep through it.
But it lives in me now.
Because when someone you love is taken so violently, so wrongfully, by the very people sworn to protect her, the grief never lets go.
Danielle and Lauren at Sunrise Assisted Living – Glen Cove, NY
Danielle was not just my daughter. She was a bright light in the world.
She served joyfully at Sunrise Assisted Living in Glen Cove, NY for eight years.
She brought smiles, hugs, songs, and laughter to the elderly, especially to her favorite, Joan Bano, and made up a song for Joan Bano. OH GOD…. how I wish I could hear her sign that song again and never tell her to stop.
Her love had no limits.
And her absence left a space so wide and quiet that even Joan was never told she’s gone because it would break her heart.
And some nights, I cry so hard I can't breathe.
Some nights I talk to Steve, my husband.
Some nights I just sit with God because no one else can understand this pain, except another mother like Cindy Schara, who knows what it's like to lose a child this way.
I’ll never forget one early morning after a night of weeping.
I had begged God for answers.
And in the stillness of dawn, a quiet thought pressed itself into my heart like a whisper from Heaven:
“Do you think you can do a better job than I?” saith the Lord.
And with tears falling down my face, I answered, “No, Lord.”
That moment changed everything.
I realized… I had to surrender.
My idea of justice.
My timing.
My control.
Justice won’t come through my own hands.
It will come through His.
People say to me, “Let it go. Move on. She’s gone.”
But they don’t know the God I serve.
They don’t know the truth of Luke 18:1–8, the parable that lives in my soul:
The Persistent Widow (Luke 18:1–8)
“There was a judge,” Jesus said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people.
But a widow came to him every day, pleading: ‘Grant me justice against my adversary!’
For a while he refused. But finally, he gave in, not because he cared, but because she wore him down with her persistence.
And Jesus said, ‘If even an unjust judge gives justice, how much more will God bring justice to His chosen ones who cry out day and night?’”
That widow?
She is me.
And I am not stopping.
Even when the courts ignore me, even when the system pretends Danielle didn’t matter, I cry out.
And Heaven hears me.
Because even if I don’t see justice yet,
That doesn’t mean I won’t get it.
Even if the world turns a blind eye,
Heaven has not.
If I didn’t believe that, I would have given up a long time ago.
But I fight.
I pray.
I persist.
God will bring justice.
He already began.
He provided the right attorneys for Danielle’s case, not a moment too soon, but in His perfect timing.
I didn’t find them by accident.
He placed them in my path.
He knew who would care. Who would listen. Who would fight.
And He will use both, my persistence and their legal expertise, to bring truth to light.
To expose the darkness.
To hold those responsible accountable.
Because when God moves, He moves with purpose.
And justice is not delayed when it’s delivered by His hand.
Because I believe in victory, not because I deserve it, but because Danielle does.
Because every innocent soul who lost their life in a hospital under protocols and poison deserves it.
Because every newborn baby that died while doctors chased bonuses over life deserves it.
When I feel the pain floods in like that river again, and I am drowning is when I
I remember Danielle alone in that hospital room, drugged, scared, crying for me.
It cuts deeper than anything I’ve ever known.
But I must believe…
He was there.
He was with her.
When they drugged her….He was there.
When they lied…..He was there.
When she cried for me, and they kept me away!
My God was there.
And sometimes… yes, I wish I could be with her instead of here.
To hold her.
To tell her I love her.
To say, “I’m so sorry I trusted them. I’m so sorry I left the room.”
But I am still here.
And that means God still has a purpose for me.
He knew I wouldn’t be silent.
He knew I would fought for her in life, and now in death.
He knew I believe in justice.
If you knew Danielle, you know how pure she was.
She looked like a child, but had the heart of a warrior.
She didn’t deserve this.
And if you know me, you know I will never stop telling her story.
Even if my voice shakes.
Even if the world tries to silence me.
Because God is still here.
Picking up my broken pieces.
Giving me strength.
Carrying me on a road I never asked for, into a mission I never imagined.
And though my hands tremble, I do not drop the sword.
I walk toward truth.
Because truth is powerful.
Truth brings light.
Danielle’s story will change lives.
It will hold hospitals accountable.
It will demand consequences.
And if I thought Danielle’s life, and death meant nothing…
Then I would not believe in the God who sent His Son to die for us.
But I do.
Because He lifts the broken.
He exposes the darkness.
And He loved Danielle…more than I ever could.
So I keep going.
For Danielle.
For the innocent.
For every mother, father, spouse, sibling and child still trapped in silence.
Because God is not man and He is the author of justice.
And I trust Him to finish what was started.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Rebecca Danielle’s mom forever.
Thank you for your continued support.
Forever in loving memory of my Danielle.
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Rebecca,
I feel for you and so many others who’ve died due to hospital protocols and malfeasance.
The jury didn’t hold the hospital in Wisconsin responsible for Grace Scharas death but this has caused many more eyes to be open to the scam perpetrated against all of us.
I sincerely hope that you get justice for your daughter and I hope many more cases will be brought against hospitals that murdered people God bless you!
Dearest precious sister. Do you remember Rizpah Saul's concubine? Her son's were slaughtered though innocent because Saul forsook the agreement the Isrealites made with the Gibeonites to allow them to be servants to them and not kill any of their people. Saul had unjustly slain some of the Gibeonites—and their blood had to be avenged. David summoned some of the Gibeonites and asked what they would require to satisfy the bloodguilt. They demanded seven sons from the house of Saul, and David handed them over. The Gibeonites put them to death and left their bodies to the mercy of the elements—a violation of Israelite burial practices.
Rizpah, a former concubine of Saul and mother of two of the slain, kept watch over her kinsmen. She refused to let their bodies become food for scavenging animals. Her determined, lonely vigil evidently provoked the conscience of David. He sent for the remains of Saul and his son, Jonathan, both slain in battle and hurriedly buried outside of Israel. The nation was allowed, at last, a period of mourning for their dead king, and all the bodies of Saul’s house were given a proper burial in the family tomb. God had compassion on the Israelites and once again sent the rain.
Rizpah was courageous, And Rizpah the daughter of Aiah took sackcloth and spread it for herself on the rock, from the beginning of harvest until it rained on them from the sky [emphasis mine]; and she allowed neither the birds of the sky to rest on them by day nor the beasts of the field by night (2 Samuel 21:10 NASB). She did this for five months during the heat of the day keeping the scavenging birds away, and would not rest at night being vigilant to keep devouring ravaging beasts away from her dead son. Rizpah in her grieving & of isolation and loneliness… as her vigil continues she endured all of that, because she wanted justice, and she sincerely believed that Heavenly father Yahweh wanted it too. In preventing the beasts and the birds from devouring the remains, [Rizpah] demonstrates her contempt for the Canaanite practice of letting bodies rot in the open”. Rizpah understood and embodied the values that God wants us all to live out:
He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8).
She did so with a fierce determination and a longing to follow God, no matter the cost. She was a woman who wanted, both God’s justice for her family and his blessing for her people. And in the end, God honored her wanting. May her story—of courage and a spirit of sincere want—encourage you today. Remember our wrestling is not against blood & flesh, but against principalities, against the authorities, against the world- rulers of the darkness of this darkness, against spirituals of the wickedness in the heaven lies, hence wherefore take up the whole armour of God that you be able to withstand in the evil day & having done all thoroughly, to stand. Stand therefore having your girded your loin with truth, & put on the breastplate of righteousness, and shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in all things taking up the shield of faith, wherewith you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one. And receive the helmet of salvation, & the sword of the spirit, which is God's word: with all prayer & supplication praying at every at every season in the Spirit, & watching thereunto in all perseverance & supplication for ALL the saints, & on my behalf, that utterance be given me in opening my mouth with boldness to make known the mystery of the gospel.
(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; This battle is not yours but God's!
Every one that
believeth that Jesus is the Christ is begotten of God: and every one that loveth the Begetter loves the one begotten of him. Hereby we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and do his .commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous, because whatsoever is begotten of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that hath overcome the world, our faith. And who is he that overcometh the world, but who believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?
Much of Jesus' and my fellow sisterly love to you always. May His tender love bring you much compassion comfort and strength in your weakness & victory of justice as the righteous Judge & conquering King Christ Jesus. 💌🫂🪔💕❤️